Others have said this better than I will, but the way that depression and suicidal thoughts get you is by isolating you. You feel that your pain would be toxic to the people who might support you. Unless you can fight that distortion, it’s got you cornered.
And by “you” I mean “me.” I don’t talk about it much, partially because I imagine that it’s not my style but mostly because of the nature of the thing. It feels shameful and alienating.
And since the prevailing silence is at the heart of the problem, I’ll say it now- I’ve been fighting depression and its consequences ever since my sister died, and I’ve taken the suicidal impulse right up to the wall. Only seldom have I managed the strength to bring it to other people, but those few times I succeeded have quite literally saved my life.
So call the hotline or tell the person you feel is the best candidate or tweet about it or contact me. The thing that I know to be true but can barely believe is that not only are all those people willing to hear you out, they’re desperate to receive something so precious from someone like you. You would be honored at the opportunity to save someone’s life. Give someone that honor and raise up the both of you.
Episode 3 of Obstructed View is up! This one is about the FOUR different songs recorded by the 1986 Mets organization. FOUR. If you haven’t listened to an ep yet, jump on the bandwagon with this one. Even if you don’t like sports, please take a moment to recognize the pinnacle of human achievement that was the FOUR songs about the 1986 New York Mets.
About and BY the New York Mets.
Please don’t let our sacrifice here have been in vain.